Redneck Landlord Wind Chime

This is touted as the perfect gift for the redneck in your life...

But if you are indeed a redneck, do you really need more old beer cans "hanging around" your house??
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You thought your landlord was cheap.. wait until you read this listing.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150506141317

There's Icy Hot, and then there's Icy Not...

" I found this among lots of other things while doing some housecleaning."

This item is way before my time. When do you people do housecleaning- every 100 years??

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190409426256

That won't sell at the Christie's Auction.

This dead plant is quite the unusual relic.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270442391351

Bejesus....

Even the kids from the show Toddlers and Tiaras don't wear that much makeup.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290389850495

KGB Disappearing Ink Pen

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=380087267573

I will give this to my sugardaddy when he fills out my rent checks.

Wanna virus?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=380150896431

This listing calls this an "office prank" but then states "still you should not use it on anyone's computer who is doing critical work where any disruption could cause serious consequence"... oh yeah, like we all just sit around at work looking at crazycrap all day.

This is twisted...

and shatters all childhood memories of unicorns.

Somebody tell me why I have to get revenge on a mime?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310218018263

Proof you should never stay in the same spot for too long

Or you might be condemned there for life... and death.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290438728899

X-Ray Spray

I believe this is what those cheesy presenters use at the Award Shows to sneak a peak at the winner.

The video is way cool.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230435458455

Just when you thought you knew every version of Monopoly...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=220603663431

Mega Pocket Torch???

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250636100087

Even though it is 2500 degrees, the listing says it is perfect for lighting cigars or welding metal. Well unless you are the Statue of Liberty, I don't recommend a torch to light a cigar.

As for welding metal- shouldn't you leave that to the experts with the proper welding tools? Unless of course you are a redneck and you weld your own car with a mini torch you bought on eBay instead of taking it to the body shop.

Tell your husband you will keep your hands off the remote...

Then use this thing to change the channel back to your regularly scheduled boring Lifetime programming:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260602861368

Remember it is poor manners to drink milk from the milk carton...

and whiskey out of your hammer.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280450219089

How much is the US Dollar worth??

Well according to eBay, the value of our currency changes. One week it is 84¢: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190396878132

the next it is $1.01: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190396532445

If you are buying a buck on eBay, you are either

a) fishing for quick feedback

b) too lazy to get change for a ten at the bank

or c) have been using credit and debit so long you thought cash was collectible

Microwaved IPad- What the ???

Either this guy has too much time on his hands or too much money to burn...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150440194811

Actually I should suggest just that- microwave money. He's microwaved fire extinguishers, light bulbs, and a Playstation on his youtube channel.

It says on the video "Do not attempt." Trust me, if I spent $500 on an IPad with Apps and all that crap, I would not nuke it or hire a "professional microwave operator" to do so.

This man sells these "nuked" items as art, signed and dated. My roommates better not pull this "well it's art" crap with the stuff that's crusted up in our microwave.

NOTE: This listing already ended but since the reserve was not met, it may be relisted.

The only secret...

is the item inside is not from Victoria's Secret.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200406154086

"Look little Jimmy- an iphone for Christmas!"

(Jimmy opens the box to find a candy bar inside)

"Haha Jimmy!"


http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250628803665
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120566985766

"This listing is intended for a collector... who already has the phone and needs the box to complete the set."

So that's why everybody is buying cell phones like candy- not because they want the latest technology, but for posterity's sake.

Hey I have an old pile of CRT Monitors and Brother Word Processors for all you collectors out there.

By the way, since you clearly have nothing better to do, type in "empty box" or "box only" in quotation marks in the search box on eBay. Isn't it crazy people are buying this crap?

Stop staring at my earrings.

I can't help that they stare back.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=220602110897

I usually don't like to post taxidermy 'cause I don't want to encourage the purchase of dead animals...

but none of my dearest fans should buy this.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320527296639

OMG 5 bids and $56! You people are sick- no ifs, ands, or butts.

Is this from a Chevy Chase movie??

This is when you don't know your a** from a hole in the wall.

Is this a picture of an a**hole?

Hey there, don't come from behind.

Alright, I will stop cracking butt jokes now.

As if my roommates don't cough enough when they get high...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310217174318

Now that's a ghetto grill...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330401404147