Stop staring at my earrings.

I can't help that they stare back.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=220602110897

I usually don't like to post taxidermy 'cause I don't want to encourage the purchase of dead animals...

but none of my dearest fans should buy this.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320527296639

OMG 5 bids and $56! You people are sick- no ifs, ands, or butts.

Is this from a Chevy Chase movie??

This is when you don't know your a** from a hole in the wall.

Is this a picture of an a**hole?

Hey there, don't come from behind.

Alright, I will stop cracking butt jokes now.

As if my roommates don't cough enough when they get high...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310217174318

Now that's a ghetto grill...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330401404147

I don't even want my own dog's brush...

Now you can bid on a "piece of Irish music memorabilia"- a hair brush microphone from an Irish music video.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300423966606

You could bid on it or buy it now for $1,824. Okay...

Is your dog an un-seeing eye dog? Then get the glasses to match:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300423977391

These props are from a Irish music video for the song "I still love you without your car." There's a link to the video in the auctions. That song is dedicated to all my exboyfriends.

I like the part in the video when the Scottish dog starts licking his fingers.

Oh no.. don't let NFL players see this listing.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250382312323

"It keeps bears away.."

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=360256572467

Some people will do anything to get rid of old Tupperware. Those containers are like old Toyotas- they never die.

Like this listing... it is so long I couldn't get through it. I am convinced this guy is on drugs.