Proven Strategy to stop Tricker Treaters from coming to your house next Halloween...

Somebody call PETA! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270191818691

Now my dog is going to bite me for sure...

And I hated wearing Sponge Bob Band-aids to work, but this is worse...

Well, good thing I am unemployed.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300275844921

This boy needs a hair cut! Mother is mad!

"I will start bids at... the cost of... a haircut and I will let you decide from there how much it is worth to you to have one less long-hair former goth in the world."

Darn it, I could have made a mint auctioning my redneck long-haired ex-boyfriends on eBay.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250328934778

Prison Break

This will be perfect for my room. It will match my Martha Stewart Comforter.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170281592304

Hemp Kool-aid?

I always knew Mr. Kool-Aid Man was just a little too happy for some reason.

This drink mix has "Hydro Chronic Flavor." It has the flavor of marijuana without the THC.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330288711993