Win a date with Angel?? A poetic clown??

"Make him your Southern boy today. Bid now while supplies last!"

"Winning bid may be female or male but not both. "

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150340621055

Anti-theft Sandwich Bags

Kind of a twist on the fresh seal Ziploc bags.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270378886032

"Certificate for my two-faced crazy sister"

You can feel the pain pouring out in this guy's listing. "[Ever] wish you had a crazy sibling that makes you look like the normal one?"

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280313748340

"You can expect your NEW SISTER to move your ex into her house and teach her how to get child support from you. "

Yikes do these people run some kind of sadomasochistic cooking show?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270347209193

Put your pennies and cheesepuffs together...

How cool is this- Lincoln in pennies:













http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310122464764

It is currently over $1500!

And Elvis made of cheesepuffs (maybe he really was made of cheesepuffs in his later years):










http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310101383996

Be a godparent.

"[My mother] sits at home and plays myspace games all day. She lives in a 2 story, 1/4 of a million dollar house, and goes on shopping sprees every time my stepfather gets a paycheck....

I am now struggling and don't know how to survive."

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150327592284

Advertise with Jenny's Number- 867-5309

OMG it is going for $400,000 with over 100 bids!

The seller says he gets 10,000 calls a year!

Dude, I get thousands of calls each year. Will anyone buy my phone number? (Granted those calls are all bill collectors but oh well.)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260354849950

UPDATE: Sold for over $186,000!

Yikes, you know you are famous when people parody your freakin' eBay auction. Look at these crazy tributes to the infamous highly publicized 867-5309 auction.












A piece of paper with the number on it:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300291376249

Note: This listing plays the song "867-5309."















867-5309 Contemporary Abstract:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300291183518













A new shade of eyeshadow: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160287747152










Historic Number Drawing: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280309996602

Advertise on this giant rubberband ball!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200304608802

Hey somebody's gotta pay for this guy's habit of buying too many rubberbands.

I can see the rubber bands are tied together. Still, I wonder how he obtained rubber bands so big.

What the heck is a water pixie?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160313219047


It is nice to know people tripping on acid can still make money on eBay. LOL Just kidding...

Mutant Werewolf Fetus

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160312457882

It looks to me like someone kicked a mutant dinosaur in the wrong place.

Seller says he/she found this thing in the corner of an old attic. Yikes where the heck do you live?

Hydrogen Generator for your car!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330303819226

Wow you can run your car partially on water and save money on gas.

Now I can tell everyone I drive a hybrid when I really drive a dinky piece of crap Geo Prizm. Haha.

Click here for more Hydrogen Generator Listings.

Mucinex Characters- Mr. and Mrs. Mucus

This might make a good wedding topper for Pharmaceutical Reps because they are green and slimy too.

Just kidding.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290291812365

Anybody missing an eye?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280308096064

Note: This auction has been pulled. I don't know the reason.

Her husband is freaking out and having nightmares so this seller has to sell the eye that fell out of her doll.

This lady is getting $66 and 5 bids at the time of this posting plus $22 shipping. $22 shipping? Maybe for membranes or skulls, but that seems awfully high for an eye.

I can't afford this. Would the seller accept an eye for an eye?

NOTE: This auction plays Geico music! You can click the off button at the very bottom of the listing or just cover your ears.

What happens when you combine suspenders and neon bathing suits??

I hope Borat doesn't do back flips in that outfit. He looks bad enough in regular clothes.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290293213878

There are football fans and then there are the football obsessed...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390026922996

"Honey, don't throw the remote."

You can control "up to 7 electronic devices at once" including cable TV, TV1 and TV2. How many freakin' TVs do you crazy football fans need?

And you thought the government under Bush was stupid...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250352450628





Click here to see more funny vintage patents.

Oh no, I guess Osama Bin Laden bought this book.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140297951429

Please. Can you really walk "unseen among people or crowds?" I don't believe it.

But if you really can become invisible as this book says, Britney Spears has to buy this. And Oprah. I am sooo sick of seeing these people in the tabloids.

Judging by the comments in this guy's feedback, all this guy is selling is books about making yourself invisible and bringing in good money. WHAT?!?!? I have heard of people wanting something for nothing, but not nothing for something.

You can buy Genuine Junk on eBay... no really you can.

"This high value keywords domain name could potentially be worth $xxx or even $x.xxx of dollars."

It's not genuine crystal folks. Or genuine silver or genuine leather. It is genuine junk!

Sounds like a good web domain for dollar stores or Microsoft dealers.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300287136118


NOTE: This auction is completed.

Also good is http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260350682520

and this: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190280483422 (completed)

Obama Mania.. Can it!

There are too many auctions trying to capitalize on the whole Obama craze. It has gone too far!


Barack O'Berry Soda






http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120366673288

Obama Nesting Dolls



Bill Clinton looks like Mrs. Claus with a double chin.







http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310096769798

Barack Obama Elvis
















http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=150321944859

What's with the sunglasses? I could hide my purse in those.

Obama Puppet!

Very cute but I think a Bush Puppet with Dick Cheyney holding him is funnier.



















http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140296213343

Obama the Snowman??

Give me a break- the "first African American snowman??"
















http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270333168744

I think it should be called the first redneck snowman.

Guess Bush isn't the only one smoking...

Here's some incriminating evidence for Arnold Schwarzenegger....









http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200298024207

Thanks to Jay G. for the submission!

Yikes, Obama's car pulls in over $100K!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330299932725

The seller told one potential buyer " Buy it now is $1,000,000."

UPDATE: Because of joke bidders bidding the auction up to $99 million, eBay has pulled all the bids. Now all bids must be preapproved. As of this writing there are no bids.

UPDATE: Final auction pulled in a price of $271,300!! That is like 9 times book value! http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330301140685

Name this kid!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270328527480

According to the seller, you get to choose the first name, middle name, and last name. But what if it is something silly like McLovin or Captain Crunch?

This auction is just over $3,000 at the time of this post. Wow!

Did Michael Jackson request this auction?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270324222590

Hey kids, don't be scared of the tree house.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250351820631

This is scarier than Michael Jackson... (Completed Auction)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140292863224


Hey check out the weird photos on this listing by the same seller:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140289220265

Buy your battles.

This seller will pay you to argue with him. He must be unmarried if he needs to go to eBay for this.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270312490847

Also see his fine collection of riddles, compliments, and verbal abuse.

It's back to school for Courtney Love!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=360121636286

I can't wait to attend this school and defy my Catholic parents!

And this kiss was sponsored by...

Sponsor a wedding!











http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320329134047

On their website, couple says they will advertise your business in their wedding program if your product or service is tasteful.

Guess that rules out this site.

Is that the wheel of fortune on his car? LOL

This advertising vehicle will sure get noticed..

when you go through drive-thrus and tunnels especially.




http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260345823429

$10,500 is a great deal on a 2006 Honda Element. (Kelly Blue Book says $16,000.) Not sure how much the pie chart is worth lol.

$900 to be your friend??

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270323902233

Good thing he is not a mail order husband.

Hey here is a gift card for Christmas. Don't spend it all at once.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330295566131

Dude, I should just put "no value" in the title of all my crap on eBay and my power of persuasion will make buyers buy.